ima lover * not a fighterr

bizkitxlover @ 2005-01-04T11:51:00

2005-01-04T17:52:17Z

~~im thinking about changing my username...........~~

yeah i have.........its: shxthappens
add me if youd like...

bizkitxlover @ 2005-01-04T06:42:00

2005-01-04T12:44:24Z

im sick.
last night i had a 101.7 fever. growl.
okay so yeah, im kindof
pissed also. joe said he'd call me
last night, but never fucking did.
how retarded? like, eergh, so today if he doesnt call by at least 8:30 or so im calling him and telling him if he'd like to continue this he has to do what he says and not do another.
cause thats annoying and just not right to do to someone. especially when theyre sick? gay.

i have fallen in love with this song by Green Day.
its amazing. and its so true with me. well im going to
go back to bed. my head still hurts :(

bizkitxlover @ 2005-01-03T05:46:00

2005-01-03T11:50:02Z

school today :(
debating on what to wear..hmmm
anyway, so i had a good day yesterday! :)
went to the mall with kaylyn, tommy, and mike. we went colone shopping for the boys. fun time! fun time! haha. kaylyn and i then went to jewel so i could steal some makeup and she could buy some :D hehehe. i am such a klepto! haha. i then went home, and joe came over.
we watched football and sopronos :) it was a lot of fun :) im glad him and i are becoming really cool :) i then did my tae bo for the first time, jeezus lord, was it hard and long! i tried so hard, and actually pulled through! haha. if my tummy doesnt hurt tonight, ill have to do it again!
tomorrow kaylyn and i are going to do our tae bos together, ill prolly pass out then :)

well, today shall be interesting. i have a new attitude about everything. hopefully it follows through. cause im actually quite content with life right now :) i just need to get my fucking grades up!

<3

what a new years

2005-01-01T18:12:15Z

hey guys. well i had quite a new years :)
we were all pretty damn drunk. i had an awsome time drinking my memosas. :)

had an awsome Midnight Kiss ;)
i lost my goddamn nose stud cause when i kissed my MIDNIGHT KISSER we kissed a Lil too rough and it just flipped right out. so when i got home around 3am, i was trying to put in other ones, but i was so drunk, and they are the difficult ones to put in, i was crying. hahaha.
i was like "GOD, I KNOW IM DRUNK. AND I KNOW IM CRYING AND SWEARING! BUT PLEEEEASE HELP ME!!" i was pretty drunk for a while! hahaha.

good times though good times.
kevin promises he's going to buy me a new nose stud today at woodfield <3
thanks babe, i love ya, and i mean itt <33

anyway, heres a survay of 2004 if youre Really bored <33

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?: got my tongue, nose, belly pierced, got a tattoo, and a job! :)
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?: didnt have any for 2004, but for 2005= to loose about 20 lbs and to start liking beer? haha
3.Did anyone close to you give birth?: nope.
4. Did anyone close to you die?: my friends great grandpa, but i wasnt really close to him.
5. What countries did you visit?: i wish i wouldve visited amsterdam
6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?: my license, a car, self respect, and a goddamn boyfriend!!!!
7. What date from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?: halloween=cause i was so trashed and it was just all and all a good night .. my 16th birthday party=cause all of us were there.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?: i passed up cocaine
9. What was your biggest failure?: finding out im not gona graduate high school anytime soon.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?: not that i remember
11. What was the best thing you bought?: my tongue pierced
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?: im confused.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?: jessi for a while.
14. Where did most of your money go?: pot and cigarettes haha
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?: my digital camera
16. What song will always remind you of 2004?: She Will Be Loved-Maroon 5, Everytime-Britney Spears(nothing im PROUD OF), 1985-Bowling For Soup
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- i. happier or sadder?: happier i guess
- ii. thinner or fatter?: fatter
- iii. richer or poorer?: defintaly poorer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?: not givena fuck
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?: allowed guys to use me.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?: family<3
22. Did you fall in love in 2004?: idk what it was.....there was only 2 guys that guy to see my true feelings....
23. How many one-night stands?: haha...nothing to be proud of but four
24. What was your favorite TV program?: Til Death Do Us Part, OC + Sex And The City
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?: Anna McFarlin
26. What was the best book you read?: i didnt read any this year.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?: kottonmouth kings
28. What did you want and get?: my tongue pierced, and a digi cam
29. What did you want and not get?: a boyfriend
30. What was your favorite film of this year?: Meet The Fockers
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?: had 2 surprise birthday parties & i was sixteen!
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?: keeping my tongue ring in, and my mom not flipping out about it, and having the big o!
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?: idk.
34. What kept you sane?: music and my girls <3
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?: the one and only fred
36. What political issue stirred you the most?: the election
37. Whom did you miss?: a lot of people :(
38. Who was the best new person you met?: theres a couple people on that list.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004: dont give a fuck!
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

"its getting closer to the end.
every part of me. then disaster
takes its toll and now im left with
only me. maybe sorrow plays a roll
when you feel unkind. your abuse
is medicine. and im forever lost in time"

<3

happy (early) new years guys!

2004-12-31T17:28:28Z

tonight i shall drink myself into oblivion.
my choice of alcohol: Memosas ♥

memosas (if for some reason you dont know)
includes a Glass+Champaigne+Orange Juice=A Memosa :)

i shall have an amazing night :)

tonights MuShRoOm MoUnTaIN nIghT

2004-12-29T19:55:31Z

tonight im doing shrooms :)
we'll see how That goes :)
time to gooo <3

...you guys will get comments from me
throughout the day <33

blahhh

2004-12-29T04:06:54Z

nothing fucking special....stayed up til 6:30am with jessi and josh..interesting night/morning.
woke up around 7:30-8 from my mom wanting to pick amanda and myself up. passed outtt..
smoked up with ash, lauren + sara. fun times :) interesting ones especially.

blahhhh...theres nothing really to do.
<3

bizkitxlover @ 2004-12-24T16:34:00

2004-12-24T22:35:32Z

merry christmas guys! <3

bizkitxlover @ 2004-12-23T00:09:00

2004-12-23T06:15:01Z

i dont know what it is.
it could be my fight i got into with tiffany hops.
it could be that i have a feeling im going to be single for a very long time.
it could be that i feel so alone, that i want to kill myself right now.
it could be that i barely smoked with ashley, lauren + lindsey.
it could be that i need to get laid.
it could be that i feel like my friends are just talking to me to keep a life alive.
it could be that the houses that i saw tonight gave me a rude awakening that ill never live in those unless i Somehow become famous.
it could be that im just so sick and tired of being nobody.
it could be that i will never be as prettier than her.
it could be that ill never have One of those guys point to their friends and say "thats her".
it could be that i know ill be forever single.
it could be that i havent commented on Any of your journals.

lord only knows.

but all i know, is that im upset + just not feeling myself lately.

What Will bizkitxlover Get ?

Xmas pressie predictor
Big wooly jumper knitted by	all_4_alyssa
Pair of Socks from	sublime_anarchy
Bottle of Whiskey from	3ternalprimat3
Cd from	killitallaway_
Something Cuddly from	perfect4rm_afar
Something Intoxicating from	bashthedr
Something Silly from	oakview53
Something Funny from	metallica0629
Lump of coal from	___saraxrocks
Something Pretty from	xtruexfantasyx
Something Shiny from	twilight_sleeps
Something Naughty from	eyeliner_tearsx
Something Smelly from	wickedlettexxx
Something Breakable from	too_short_4_yoo
Something Useful from	anelika
Something not useful from	wine_and_cheese
The Black and Decker Tool Kit from	elissakall
Livejournal account from	_beachxblonde
The Make-up Bag from	caveman04
Stack of DVDs from	hillyboo
Something Geeky from	bknalnica23

(now isnt it funny that Brad 3ternalprimat3 could possibly get me a bottle of whiskey for christmas....thats just makes me laugh)

bizkitxlover @ 2004-12-21T21:34:00

2004-12-22T03:37:58Z

what a fun couple days!

last night i hung out with kaylyn+stefani.....mysterious fun, right kay?! haha.
anyway, today kaylyn, her little sister+i got our nails done.
i got a french manicure then their are rinestones in the middle. ooh yeah.

i then smoked with my cousin -nikki- then aaron.
holy shit, nikki and i ate Soo fucking much at
pizza hut! we were so goddamn high! she also got
a lizard, his name is Jimmi Hendrix! hahaha.

so yeah, im in my new jumpsuit my dad+my step mom bought me
beautiful i tell you <3 soo yeah :) time to go comment <33

bizkitxlover @ 2004-12-20T10:52:00

2004-12-20T17:00:45Z

slept over at jessi's last night.
we drove around and smoked for a while.
we were expecting to go to a party,
but instead we didnt. and just went to
her house + fell asleep. purcell
called, and we smoked two bowls, he
dropped us off, then boom - jessi
and i passsssed out !!

i have a doctors appt. today :(
i dont want to goo, i hate going
to the doctors :(

<3

bizkitxlover @ 2004-12-19T05:01:00

2004-12-19T11:04:18Z

got some bud from mr. purcell himself.
came home. sat around. went to a party.
smoke a WHOLE lot of marijuana :)
smoked a mini steam roller, ooh jeezus.

then of course dramaness with jay.
i love him though....hes my fucking
brother for christ sake. i <3
him to goddamn death, but that was
fucked up tonight.

anyway, i talked toa guy with a fedora
on for like 2 hrs. straight---i so
wish i had my digi cam! he was pretty damn
cute <3
time to passt he FUCK out.

last day of schoolio yo

2004-12-17T15:10:51Z

so todays the last fuckin day before *wiNtEr BreAK*
ooh am i excited. tiff's having a partyy .. so when
i get off of work, im goin home, gettin ready, goin to
tiff's them gettin fucking wasted....with what $$
and with what alcohol, lord only knows! but i know i
am...plus *The Boy* will hopefully be stopping
by! :) so yeah, *The Boy* and i passed notes to
eachother yesterday during 7th <3 i got his
# and he got mine :) woohoo we also walked
through the hallways together, fun times fun times.

last night, i worked, then drove around
with kevin <3 it was so much fun! he was making
me laugh last night, and this is very seldom
for him to make me laugh REALLY hard, i felt
very high hahahaha, ooh well.

todays green + gold day at school (our school
colors) so im wearing my Grens Sweatshirt.
plus im wearing Green+Yellow eyeshadow :)
then after school, all the girls are coming over
and we're doing the last day of secret santa :)
plusss im giving jessi her coloring book <3

peacee

bizkitxlover @ 2004-12-16T22:59:00

2004-12-17T05:01:32Z

highway+smoking with my buddyy: Mr.kEviN
haha, i told you i was gona mention you and
say hi to you kevin <3

what an amazingg song
i loveee listening to this song
fucking baked <3

tiffyyyyyy!!!!!! you rock !!! i <3 you!

2004-12-16T18:37:56Z

so i just got my secret santa!
i got one of those make-up cases
that is black and white and it
has an A on it :)

then inside i got all differnt
types of pink lipglosses, an A pad
of notepaper, + chrome eyeshadow.
i was all excited!!! :D all smiles!

tiffy j also told me AmAzInG news!
*A Boy* as interest in me.
yayyyyyy!

time for lunch <3

im told im funny....? possible?

2004-12-16T05:57:12Z

so today was okay! i got Nail Polish for my secret santa :)
i <33 them! i got like 10-15 bottles! thats fucking awsome!
and theyre all neony colors <3

so 7th period comes (us history) and we're watching
a movie, im trying to concentrate on the movie + im trying
to go over my lines. i had butterflies in my
stomach the whole entire time. at first its a great/horrible
feeling, then its like "okay, go away guys,
youre starting to piss me the fuck off!!!!!!" so 8th period
came, i was making witnee nervous, danny was
making fun of us (scrub) + we did it. i got people to laugh
at me :) i knew all my lines, i screwed up in the beginning
but thats only cause i was soo fucking nervous! then
i started to have fun! :) so yeah, im told i was funny, crazy
i knowwww :) but yeah! hehe

eergh, i have a fucking two hour detention tomorrow morning :(
not too happy about that :( ooh well, gotta do what you
gotta do! :) thank god i get out @ 2:30 tee*hee okay, time
for bed, <3 peace fuckas

bizkitxlover @ 2004-12-14T18:50:00

2004-12-15T00:52:21Z

my lines are memorized....i got applauded in class! it felt really really good.
i want pot nowwwww......sometime after this weekend or so i can get some because
ill have lots of $$$ and i have 2 more people to shop for then thats it :>
ill be happy happy + i wont have to shop for anyone else ever again :>
by friday ill have 30 bucks for the two people.

my secret santa is DONE! thank gawwwwd! :>
i got a pink elmo hat + candy today :>
hmm, i honestly have nooo clue who fucking has me!!!! :<

time to go do SOMETHING around this house.

bizkitxlover @ 2004-12-14T07:37:00

2004-12-14T13:37:17Z

memorizing lines fucking SUCKSSS! hopefully i can do thissssss. i swear if i dont, i dont think ill smoke bud at ALL until i get this fucking play over with (which is tomorrow) but i think ill be fine from now til 8th period. i have ALL day to study my lines, but i know them pretty damn well. wish me luck with this fucking shit........<3 peace

acting sucksss

2004-12-13T22:49:32Z

okay, so in Acting class we have this play that we're going to be doing in front of another class on Wensday. the play is called, The Stinky Cheese Man....im The Little Red Hen. she is one of the Leads in the fucking play, im a goddamn stoner, and my teacher KNOWS THIS, yet she gives me that part. eergh. then shes giving me shit about not knowing my lines. i DO know my lines, i need reminding. and its just One line out of Four that i dont know, then i screw up. plus, she picked on me today in class about not knowing my lines. OOH GO FUCK YOURSELF ROBINSON. she sucks as a teacher anyway, nobody does Shit in that class cause she Sucks :>

onto better things! soo i got my secret santa present today!!!!
i got a Spinning Rainbowny Thingy. i <33 it, very fuckin trippy and whoever got it knows that i love it, cause i said it to everyone :> my person loved her gift, i was very pleased. hopefully she thinks my next ones funny :>

well, i have to go memorize some fucking Little Red Hen Lines :

bizkitxlover @ 2004-12-13T07:29:00

2004-12-13T13:31:51Z

eergh, i left Blue Moon in josh's car last night after our late night session :<
hopefully he doesnt forget to give it to my brother during the day, or ill hunt him
down! thats my baby!!!!! eergh, i didnt go to bed til like 1:30 last night.
doesnt even feel like i slept. sad, huh? ooh well, i had to do the dishes so my
mommy didnt bitch and complain at me this morning :> Secret Santa starts today!
im sure we're All happy, arent we? and i STILL havent gotten my person her big
gift....i honestly dont know What to get her, but thats a.o.kay :> todays goddamn
pajama day....ooh jeezus...off to school loves...peace

secret santa starts tomorrow

2004-12-13T05:27:03Z

i dont want school to start...but then again i do.

i dont because...i just hate it.
i do because...that means closer and closer to xmas break!

i had a fun, fulfilled stoned day with a couple of people :> might i add i had a great time eating chinese food as well! :> i am honestly hopefully getting a digital camera for xmas!!! ill be ooh soo happy! i already started a Fotki Account, even though theres nothing there to show...haha

im ooh soo excited! okay, i have dishes to do, and im off to bed.
night guys!

bizkitxlover @ 2004-12-12T17:01:00

2004-12-12T23:01:35Z

chinese food <3

2 peanut butter+jelly sandwhiches <3

go suck your mother

bizkitxlover @ 2004-12-12T00:33:00

2004-12-12T06:35:33Z

what an AmAzInG night ... thnx to Pcell+Hops+Jerry i dont think ive ever laughed so hard in my life at a wyndom hotel parking lot bwahaha. we had lots of our friend maryjane, and she made me very stoned.

....did yall know that caroline had me at hello? ;)

bizkitxlover @ 2004-12-11T13:46:00

2004-12-11T19:49:11Z

last night was pretty fucking bogus.

but whatever. ahhh, i cannot wait til AFTER xmas....lots of $$ which equals:

tongue piercing
lots of pott

soo yeah im very excited :>

one more week, then ive got xmas break to look foward to :>

ill prolly be working a lot, smoking lots of pot, partying, im ooh soo excited, you have NO clue :>

hopefully i get my goddamn digi cam as well, then ya'll will get to experience this shit with meeee

:> time for me to start getting ready for work :< i really dont want to go

but i HAVE to :> have a good weekend yall.

You are........... Hunter S. Thompson (aka Raoul Duke). You sweat
rivers, you consume large amounts of drugs and
alcohol on a daily basis. You talk to fast, you
wear large sunglasses and slack off on your job
but in the end your work is eloquent and
original. Only one down point : Your logic is
completely insane and circular.

Fear and Loathing : Which Drug Addled Freak Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

bizkitxlover @ 2004-12-10T07:02:00

2004-12-10T13:04:17Z

"somebody rip my heart out...and leave me here to bleed"...Avril Lavigne

cause honestly, this is what it feels like Anyway.

cause i cant sit there and watch this happen in front of me.

eergh, im so dumb. i pick the stupidest things to get

all clingy about. growl. i swear i could kill a buffalo right now.